Soft as baby’s bottom. No, really.

No, I am not writing tonight to reveal the beauty secret of the century, but rather to announce that my forward thinking two and a half year old has just taken nipple to knee anti-aging precautions. Here’s how it happened:

After a typical witching hour spat between brothers, I sent them to their respective corners (er, bedrooms) to cool off, color a picture, make a puzzle, make a mess, whatever. Anything was fine with me as long as it wasn’t happening between my knife and the boiling pot on the stove.

After a reasonable amount of time big brother re-entered the kitchen more level headed than when he had left. Another few minutes passed. Quiet minutes. Eerily peaceful and productive minutes. I knew something was up.

And so did my mom (…my dear sweet angel of a helpful mom), who wondered aloud as to whether or not I had seen little brother emerge from his ‘thinking time’ retreat. No, I hadn’t. But I had gone over the mental list of accessible household dangers and concluded that nothing of great consequence could possibly have unfolded in the time that had passed with the items at his disposal. Responsible Grammy proceeded to call down the hallway, peek into his bedroom,  his bathroom, the playroom, the living room – and finally into MY bathroom.

She re-entered the kitchen less level headed than when she had left. Due to the laughter that she was holding back. And the tears.

With raw chicken in one hand and a camera in the other I tiptoed into my bathroom to find two – count ’em TWO – brand new, now empty, jars of body cream rolling like wounded soldiers on the floor. And one grinning toddler giving himself the most luxurious skin treatment I’ve ever seen. And I’ve had a lot of skin treatments.

None, however, have given me nearly as much pleasure as the one I was witnessing with both joy and terror. Cream, glorious cream, was everywhere. EVERYWHERE. In every fold, every crack, every nook and cranny of both my son’s pudgy body and the heretofore well kept bathroom.

And now that I’m four hundred words into this post, I might as well let a picture speak for the next thousand words I’d like to write about the situation.

This here is glee people. Pure, absolute glee.

Enjoy.

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