What I know about poop

23 Nov

A friend told me that a healthy poop should sink. And should be ‘S’ shaped. I’m not sure mine has ever borne either of these magnificent qualities.

This same friend also told me that she and her husband agree that a good poop is orgasmic. All I can really say is that I’m jealous of the poop in their house.

What I do know about the poop in MY house is that it sometimes ends up on the floor (courtesy either of a potty training two year old or our newest stray dog Frankie). It’s also been known to mysteriously appear under the guise of “phantom poop”, the phenomenon inspired by my four year old who believes neither in wiping, nor flushing, nor washing hands. I am trying to break him of all three of these unsavory habits, and in the meantime I suppose that we all might end up with worms.

As I said once before, my two year old is aware that we “don’t eat poop”, however this is a fact that is yet unlearned by our two dogs, who I have found chomping on each others dirty deeds as if they were Milkbones. This has been known to occur right under the dinner table, both the carpet pooping and the poop eating, neither of which is remotely OK.

I’m suddenly wondering what on this holy planet Earth could have inspired me to share any of this information. Oh right, I live with five dudes. Who think poop and farts are hilarious. Guess it’s beginning to rub off.

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11 Responses to “What I know about poop”

  1. Trina November 23, 2010 at 10:37 am #

    Belly laughing until I cry is such a good way to start my day! wink wink!

  2. Tony November 23, 2010 at 10:49 am #

    So glad this is a blog and not a photo album..

  3. SLK November 23, 2010 at 11:03 am #

    Your friend is so smart….I could not agree more!!! A good poop is the best!!!!!!

  4. Anjale November 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm #

    @ Trina – enough said!
    @ Tony – I am starting a photo a day posting January 1st. Be scared.
    @ SLK – knew you’d love that one!

  5. Kevin November 23, 2010 at 2:51 pm #

    As one of the 5 dudes, I can say it IS hilarious, except when I am on clean up duty.

  6. papa November 23, 2010 at 4:11 pm #

    eating blubber always makes my poo float

  7. papa November 23, 2010 at 4:15 pm #

    and a crappy orgasm is still better than an earthshaking poop

  8. gina November 23, 2010 at 5:23 pm #

    This is so hilarious…took away my brain fog!!!

  9. Betsy December 13, 2010 at 10:11 pm #

    This was so funny that tears came to my eyes!

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