I’m a slave to Project Runway so, naturally, I am aflutter with excitement over the handful of big name designers like Isaac Mizrahi (a judge on said Project Runway) who have begun slinging their fashion greatness in the direction of the masses’ well loved Target clothing racks. Okay, I’m not aflutter, but lucky is the mom who can pick up baby wipes, a 7 lb bag of M&Ms, and a fabulous wrap dress in one fell swoop.
What I didn’t know is that just a few miles up the road from my local Target is the holy grail of discount designer shopping. On the corner of Manhattan Beach Blvd & Sepulveda is the fancy-schmanciest Tar-jay I have ever set foot in. I saw a clutch for $80 and a coat for $100. But what really blew me away was the freebie I received as I was walking out the door.
Not the kid, the bag, people, just look at that bag (I know you are puzzled and distracted by the rabid child eating the lovely bag, but stick with me here).
It’s true, I’m easily impressed. But who wouldn’t be dazzled by such re-useable goodness after years of struggling with antiquated, dolphin-strangling plastic? You, plastic bag, aside from protecting my hands from dog shit, are useless. You, always rolling around willy-nilly in the back of my SUV, totally incapable of doing the singular job for which you were designed unless I happen to be struck with the foresight to tie your effing handles in a knot. And who ever remembers to do that, for God’s sake? Please, do not depend on my memory to step in at the critical moment and intervene. Because I just won’t. As much as I’ll regret the scattered Tic Tacs and tampons in the back seat later, I just can’t, and I won’t. I’m stubborn like that.
But…for those of us willing to drive into fancy town there’s whole world of structured and functional totes handed out for free, just waiting to house our $20 pair of designer socks and Visine. Look at the quality of those handles…
I know, I can’t explain this behavior either, but he really is encompassing my excitement in this shot, so I’m going with it.
I don’t care where you live, you must make it your resolution to track down your very own fancy-schmancy Target where you, too, will be dazzled by the generosity with which they distribute these gems. Makes everything inside it just a little more special, I tell ya’.
If anyone here knows the glory of which I am speaking please, in the name of the Lord, please do tell. I need to know I’m not crazy for vowing never to step into the layman’s Target again. Ever. Despite it’s convenient proximity to both my home and workplace. Never. Again.
Boom Shakalaka Boom Boom, people.