Dear You

29 Jan

I’m having a serious love burst right now and I’m not afraid to show it. This post is gonna get mushy and I’ll probably refrain from cussing. Now you know.

As you may have seen in my post last night, this weekend was confusing, at best. The family time was invaluable, the kids loved playing in the mountain-rain-that-my-bastard-iPhone-weather-app-said-would-be-snow, and I got plenty of snuggly couch time with all three of my boys.

But I just couldn’t shake that bad-mommy feeling. That question…should I have been more vigilant in protecting my son? So, last night, I told you all about it. I put it out into the world for the singular purpose of getting the heavy load off of my knotted shoulders. And what happened, for me, was exactly the thing I needed to make this all feel OK again.

You guys talked back. This amazing community of friends, moms, family, and total strangers piped up, patted me on the back, and made me feel more like an “averagely bad mommy”. Which is a very good thing.

But that’s the point of all this, isn’t it? The reason you read, the reason I write. So that we can all feel a little connection from time to time. A little more normal. A lot less crazy.

We’ve all got our share of shit (agh, it couldn’t last!). But sharing it is precisely, for me, what makes it bearable.

Thanks for letting me share, friends. I’m here for ya’ too.

xo

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10 Responses to “Dear You”

  1. AliceKS January 29, 2013 at 8:31 am #

    Love you back, girrrrl.

  2. Colleen January 29, 2013 at 12:18 pm #

    Being able to share openly and honestly with other moms has been the thing that has held me together in this so far eight year journey in parenting. Oh the hundreds of mistakes I’ve made and the handful of successes that tide me over! I am forever indebted to the moms who had the courage to share their struggles with me and to listen (with more kindness than I could muster for myself) to the mistakes I have made. A big part of parenting (for me, at least) is being able to forgive yourself when you fall short and resolve to do better the next time, even knowing that you will fall short again, sometimes in small ways, sometimes writ large. And as for your latest ER adventure, just remember that you will always be able to look him in the eye and tell him you were doing what you thought was best for him (after all, you wanted to make sure his life wasn’t at risk!) and that that is the very definition of love from a mother to her child. ❤

    • FreeTheMom January 29, 2013 at 1:29 pm #

      Oh, Colleen, so perfectly said. That pulls at my heart strings a whole lot – really, nothing more I can add ❤ ❤ ❤

  3. Rose Armand January 30, 2013 at 7:06 pm #

    I agree with Colleen whole-heartedly. We’ve all had those times when we’ve questioned our decisions, but better safe than sorry when it comes to the health of our kids. Hope you feel better Anj.

    • FreeTheMom January 30, 2013 at 7:25 pm #

      After all this…I sure do 🙂

  4. Aryan January 31, 2013 at 2:02 pm #

    I have learned that as a mom, as a parent/mom we make mistakes, we do things that our children might not like. However, the things we do are for their best interest at that moment, when you question yourself and put yourself out there, it means you are watching yourself and you make conscience decisions ,and that my friend makes you a GREAT MOTHER ❤

  5. Kathleen Brehme-Gundrum January 31, 2013 at 8:55 pm #

    I’m not a mom like you Anj. I’m a mom to my puppy and all my nieces and nephews. But I love the way your mind works and I’m right there with you. You just know how to say it all so eloquently . You are doing a fabulous job and raising wonderful young men. Huray for you!!!

    • FreeTheMom February 1, 2013 at 7:49 am #

      Thank-you Kath! I so respect your opinion ❤ and appreciate the kind words.

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