5:00 am: Start by getting up early despite the fact that it’s a national holiday, for God’s sake. Get a shit ton done because you’re an over-achiever and generally awesome. Decide that coffee raises your self-esteem.
8:00 am: Let the kids watch 7 movies in a row so you can
play around on Adobe Ideas all day get your work done. Then publicly brag about said work. Try something like, “Hey suckas, y’all noticed the dreamy new banner hanging over the top of this site? Tight, am I right?! Cyber high-five!”. Expect the accolades to roll right in.
10:00 am: Make gluten free Nutella cookies “for your friends” then eat the whole batch except 3. Let the kids have one each, and another to split after dinner. Sugar is for moms, hoodlums, step off!
11:30 am: Take a break from the computer to wave at the gardener while wearing reading glasses & a robe, eating cookies, and imagining that his leaf blower would be a great way to get the crumbs out of your bra.
12:00 pm: Be a great hostess and have some out of town guests over. Be sure to change from your PJ’s into your nicest pair of sweats and the good slippers. Then change back into your PJ’s for the remainder of the afternoon, because you deserve it. .
1:00 pm: Think about mailing a work letter. Gawd, that was exhausting. Reward yourself with cookies.
2:00 pm: Consider a jack and diet to complete your “day of lush”. Or maybe a more appropriate daytime drink, like vodka. Or something that goes with cookies.
3:00 pm: Start wondering why the hell there was no school today. Google Presidents Day, or ask your 6 year old. Both will tell you that “Today is the birthday of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln…and all the other presidents.” Pretty much accurate. I’d like to thank the dead dudes for another day that I should be working but instead have spent wrangling little boys. And browsing pinterest. And eating cookies. Gah, who am I kidding, today effing rocks!
Love you peeps, and hope you’re enjoying the day as much as I am!