…I’ve been struggling with you a lot today. If we’re both being honest, our relationship has always been love-hate.
I love you for your Google, but hate it when you flaunt endless time-sucking distractions in the sidebar. You know I’m a sucker gluten free cookies and carousel rides. Making me drool over ads for them both at the same time is just mean.
I love you for Amazon, but hate it when you try to bill me for that shit. The internet isn’t real, everyone knows that! Wise up and recognize that if you’re ‘gonna call yourself “virtual” then you’d better ease up on all that real money stuff. My husband will be talking to you more about this later.
I love you for Pinterest, but hate it when you take time away from my taxes. I’m crunching numbers here, trying to ignore the fact that thousands of women worldwide are pinning DIY potholders and awesome nail polish designs. How the F do you expect a girl to concentrate?
I love you for e-mail, but hate you for e-mail. There are messages that I can’t wait to get my hands on, and others that make me want to punch a baby animal. If you could please add a filter for any e-mail with numbers in it that would be great. Go ahead and send those right to my husband.
I love you for Wikipedia, but hate you for WebMD. Explanation here.
I love you for craigslist but hate you for making me think all men are rapists. Middle aged gay dude trying to pick up my antique hand mirror? Rapist. Young dad hoping to score my sweet used baby crib? Rapist. Old guy checkin’ the specs on my old longboard? Rapist. And if there are any rapists reading this post, beware, I now answer the door dressed in a gorilla suit carrying a taser. You don’t wanna’ F with that.
I love you for Facebook but hate you for Twitter. Hashtags are the bane of my meager existence #hashtaghater. And I’m kidding about Facebook, I kinda’ hate you for that too.
I know y’all feel me here, peeps. So what is it that gets your goat on the net? Pictures of kittens? The Huffington Post? Porn? Let me know what you love-hate about the web…so I can rush on over there and see what all the fuss is about!
Peace out, peeps!