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Kickin’ corn chowder

7 Mar

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Printable recipe: FreeTheMom-Kickin-Corn-Chowder

It’s supposed to rain this week, so it’s soup time. After posting the Spinach Salad recipe last week, I got all nostalgic about my recipes from yesteryear, and decided to whip up a batch of this creamy soul soup. Plus, it’s got bacon. Anyone who liked the bacon in the last recipe is sure to like the bacon in this one, yo!

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Mmmmmm, corn, cilantro, veggies, and turkey bacon. Love in a bowl, right there.

While it’s true that I’m a bit of a health food fanatic, I also love a rich and creamy bisque or chowder here and there. And guess what, the two are no longer mutually exclusive, yayyyy! The lean turkey bacon, scant 2T olive oil, and cream provide the fat for the recipe. If you are cooking for flavor I recommend using heavy cream, and if you’re after a healthier option then feel free to substitute any milk of your choice, 1%, 2%, or whole.

What’s a fact is that this soup is a serious crowd pleaser, so if you’ve got a slew of heathens invading your kitchen anytime soon this is the perfect recipe to have in your arsenal. The ingredients look something like this: Continue reading

Slammin’ spinach salad

26 Feb

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Printable recipe: FreeTheMom-Spinach-Salad-Recipe

Thanks to Popeye we’ve all grown up well aware of the fact that spinach gives us super-strength and should be eaten daily out of a can. I, however, prefer my spinach fresh, and love it steamed, sauteed, or raw in a crisp salad.

This recipe holds a special place in my heart, as it was one of the first that I added to my arsenal about 10 years ago when my husband and I bought our first house as wee twenty-somethings. Along with the house came a quaint little kitchen (imagine that!) complete with an original 1950’s white enamel stove. At any one time we’d have at least a friend or ten crashing on the couch, which meant that it was time for mama bird to learn how to cook. I bought a vintage apron and a subscription to Martha Stewart and began setting off the fire alarm around 6pm each night. Continue reading

Top 10: Reasons I’ll never run out of shit to say

22 Feb

There’s this voice that lives in my head. She tells me mean and horrible lies like chocolate is for losers and Johnny Depp isn’t really a pirate. Bitch.

She also tells me that I’m not as good at karaoke as I think I am, and that I may never write a creative word again. To which I’m like, whaaat? I’m a superstar at both of those things, yo! And she’s all, oh yeah you were yesterday, but what do you have to show for today, Kelly Clarkson? Then I get all aggro and threatening so she backs off, but by then my brain is all fuzzy and wondering if another witty thought will ever pass through my mind or microphone again.

The answer, folks, is hell freaking yes. A hundred times yes. This one’s for you, slutty devil on my shoulder. There is so much crazy up there where you live and out in the wild world that really, one doesn’t have to search too far to find gold.

And now, a list: “Top 10: Reasons I’ll never run out of shit to say”

1) People are stupid. Stupid is fodder for assholes writers like me. My husband is a first class judger people watcher. Dare I say, I learned from the best.

2) Farts are funny, and just like line item #1, someone is always doing it. The kids, the dogs. Never me. Duh. Continue reading

Get yer shit together

17 Feb

I’d like to ask y’all how shit’s going at your house. For me, on this gorgeous So Cal Sunday, the shit factor is just outta’ control.

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I’m talking about chicken shit.

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Dog shit.

chicken-and-dog-poop08Dogs sniffing chicken shit.

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And chickens free ranging amongst dog shit.

Since we all think our own shit is crazy interesting I’m ready to gift you with a thorough play by play of my crap slappin’ Sunday. I do this only so that you may find solace in the fact that no matter the intensity of dirt you dealt with today, it probably wasn’t as rank as the real live animal shit scattered all over our patio. Did I say I wanted to be an urban farmer? F me, I did. Let’s begin. Continue reading

Asian salad dressing

15 Feb

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Printable recipe: FreeTheMom-Asian-Dressing-Recipe

After posting my all time fave kale salad recipe last week I realized that I neglected to share with you a variation that is equally as delicious and healthy. By simply varying the dressing, you can create a completely different flavor profile that is so crazy yummy you’ll want to scream. I call this the healthy Chinese chicken salad dressing because it uses very little oil yet still tastes like the OG totally fatty restaurant version. You’ll be amazed how delicious it is when all of the ingredients are fresh! Continue reading