Tag Archives: aliens

Join me in my head, why don’t ya’

25 Jan

It’s Friday, and we’re headed up to a mountainous town for the weekend which means winding roads and drowsy kiddos. Time for me to think. Because I’m super deep and inspiring I thought I’d just let that ol’ stream of consciousness flow and, you know, change your life with all of my insight. Let’s hope I live up to the pressure I’ve just created for myself…and now, “Things I Thought About On The Way Up The Mountain: Uncensored”.

Fawnskin. As in the town. Say it fast 3 times and you’ll know why I smirk every time we make this drive. Apparently I have the brain of a 12 year old boy.

Squatting in turnouts. Time for a math lesson, kids! Let’s count all the places mommy has tinkled on the side of the road because she thought cold weather “necessitated” a cup of hot coffee and then “OMG, why do I always forget coffee goes right through me…no, we aren’t almost there, so pull over, NOW. No, I can’t hold it, and yes, I went before we left. Do you really want the kids to see me piss myself…no I’m guessing you don’t, so  PULL THE F OVER!”. This ends with me making yellow snow. Fun for the whole family, and all of the families driving by mommy with her pants down.

Video games. I ❤ Sega. Or whoever the hell it is that makes the DS. It’s educational and has a full day’s dose of Omega 3’s, right? Win win. Continue reading

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2012’s funniest

5 Jan

When something laughable comes out of my kids’ mouths I try to slow the car down long enough to snag my iPhone, email a reminder to myself, then write it on the family calendar. The hope is that I’ll someday hand it over to this here blog, but that rarely happens, and usually I’m left asking my husband, what was that thing one of the kids once said? So here ya’ go y’all, the year in funnies. The ones I remembered to write down.

Big brother’s thoughts on a friend’s indoor cat:

I feel kind of sad for Snowy because all she gets to do is play with tiny cat toys and poop in the litterbox. It reminds me of Rapunzel.

Little dude, easily impressed:

Mama, I like how shiny your toilet is!

Big bro, pointing to little bro’s junk in the tub:

To a giant, this is like a chocolate chip! Continue reading