Tag Archives: kitty litter

Top 10: Reasons the park sucks

22 Mar

By the looks of things it appears that there are a whole slew of moms who just adore the park. Unfortunately for my kids, I am not one of them. The park makes me nervous and I feel like everyone is either a kidnapper or a pervert (this is a theme for me…). If that weren’t enough of a deterrent, there are also these 10 super anti-awesome park facts that make me wanna’ barf. Join me in my misery, yo!

1) The sandbox litterbox. I’m no dummy, so unless there is a magical Parks and Rec crew that conjure a force-field over the sandbox each night, there’s cat shit in there. It goes something like this: 1) the cat poops in the sand. 2) the kid digs in the sand/poop cocktail. 3) the kid licks her hand or altogether bypasses this step and goes straight to eating the poop. In either case, this is a recipe for worms. I should know, I was a thumb sucker, and nobody likes a 6 year old with itchy butt, am I right?!

2) Tennis courts. Men in tiny shorts. Eeeew.

3) Nature. Don’t get me wrong, flowers are sooooo pretty and I love a good meadow as much as the next mommy. But I’m also crazy amounts of allergic to, um, the entire outdoors. Which is a problem at the park because I also can’t stop myself from rolling down a grassy knoll, especially if some ginger-haired ten year old dares me. If I have to choose between hives and self restraint then bring on the asthma. Continue reading

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